I just came back from grocery shopping, and couldn't help but notice the huge mountain of Easter candy which was set up in the middle of the store... you know, the kind you dreamed about diving into as a child and eating your way out of?
I shopped. I tried not to think about the mountain of chocolate that seemed to direct its mind-numbing power toward me. Lulled into this false sense of security, I shopped on... despite my resistance, a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs found its way into the cart. Now at home, chowing down on the wicked little things, I am once again reminded of how dangerously addictive they are. You CAN'T stop eating them!
My old roommate, Chris, and I used to polish off a bag in an evening. The next day, we'd get more. We prayed for an intervention, but wisely kept our door bolted. It was just us and the mini-eggs for awhile...
Until one day, we brought home Peeps.
You've all seen these strange marshmallow and colored sugar concoctions cleverly shaped into little chicks, bunnies, and eggs. But have you ever tasted one of them?
Chris and I would advise against it.
They are Horr-i-ble! The marshmallow tastes like spun plastic, and even the sugar is second rate! Peeps are not for the discerning palette. We figure they're more a decoration than tasty treat.
But, Peeps do have something chocolate doesn't: staying power. Chris and I, mystified as to Peeps' popularity, decided to conduct a comparison between it (our least favorite candy) and chocolate (our most favorite candy). After a lengthy experimental process, here's what we concluded:
1) Peeps are impervious to weather. We set the Peeps (in our case, 2 little yellow chicks) out on our third floor balcony and left them there for 2 months. Neither rain nor wind nor snow nor hail seemed to have any effect on them. They held their shape and retained their yellow color.
Chocolate, while yummy, is not impervious to weather.
2) Even animals will not eat Peeps. While out on the balcony, the Peeps were not touched by any passing birds. Birds will eat chocolate, however.
3) Peeps have many uses. These strange confections are NOT just a candy! Since they never, ever break down, they could have a myriad of uses. Peeps could be used by NASA as both a repair kit for the shuttle, and as food for the crew. Peeps can also be used as a cost effective decoration for an Easter basket, or as a gift for people you don't like. Chocolate, on the other hand, would NOT plug a hole in the shuttle, and should NOT be wasted on people you don't like.
4) Chocolate has mystical powers. Much has been written about the magical properties of chocolate. Chocolate is dark, mysterious, sweet and hypnotic. It pretty much always puts you in a good mood. The only power Peeps have is that they stay forever unchanged, no matter what happens to them.
My vote goes to chocolate. But I think I'll keep some Peeps in my glovebox in case my car breaks down...
1 comment:
I had no idea that Peeps have such staying power. Why don't the armed forces enlist Peeps power to thwart the bomb hurlers? I guess they'd have to stick to the yellow ones in desert conditions, but how hard would that be? Fashion designers, I'm throwing down the gaunlet - this is a challenge to come up with a Peeps combat fatigue to withstand incendiary devices.
Post a Comment