Top 10 Reasons We Like Vampires

I'm currently working on a new book about vampires, and so decided to compile this handy-dandy list about why we like them:

10) Vampires are good-looking. You never come across this sentence in a book: "The ugly vampire came into the room and bit everyone."

9) Vampires are strong. You also never come across this sentence: "The fat, lazy vampire sat around all day (or night, heh-heh) and did nothing."

8) Vampires are smart. Nada on this one too: "The stupid, dull vampire sat in the corner, mumbling incoherently and drooling."

7) No wrinkles. Unless the vampire was bitten at the age of eighty (which almost never happens), they look like they all use Clinique.

6) You don't have to cook for them. Upside: huge saving on the grocery bill, and you don't have to worry about them stealing your chocolate. Downside: you may become anemic.

5) Vampires are well-dressed. You never hear about the shabbily-dressed vampire shuffling down the road in his wrinkled suit.

4) They can fly. Imagine never having to travel coach again! Though to my knowledge, there are no snacks on their flights.

3) Vampires have nice teeth. Just watch out for the pointy ones.

2) The immortality thing. In our busy world, we have less time to do the things we really want to, like travel to exotic locales or make a quilt. Vampires have literally forever to get around to doing something.

And the number one reason we like vampires:

1) They're cool. "Bobby, the Nerdy Vampire?" Never heard of him...